Change

Change can be good, or bad.  Change can be beautiful, or ugly.  Or in-between.  Or maybe even neither.

Change can mean taking a break from action, so that we make the space to preserve the good.

It seems like the universe exists in such a way that things at rest tend to fall apart, disorganize, or rust.  That fact seems to show us the value of putting in self-care in order to preserve what we have and who we are.

Am I the same person across my lifespan?

We do make changes in ourselves and in our lives.  We seem to be the same person anyway.  But other things about ourselves we don’t change, and don’t seem to change.  Yet, we grow and develop anyway.  When we look back, it seems like we’ve changed quite a bit.

It’s easy to find medical information that says every one of the cells in our body are replaced multiple times throughout our lifespan.  And yet, we’re still ourselves.

What changes start to happen before we change?  Aren’t those pre-changes another kind of change?  What changes need to happen after we have changed – so that we can preserve the change we made?  Aren’t those kinds of post-change changes another kind of change?

Sometimes it seems like we change in two ways at once.  One is a number of different things changing in organic and unplanned ways.  Like getting sober entails tons of personal transformation, a lot of which is unexpected.  The other type of change is a carefully planned and logical sequence (like the sequence of the 12 steps).

Do I need to let go instead of try to “change”?  Do I consciously or unconsciously resist change by resisting letting go?

Just because we are ready and committed doesn’t make it easy.  Change can be exhausting.  For today, I’ll remember to really consciously make an effort in self-care.  And to keep my self-care fresh.  And active.  And to give myself the beautiful gift of real relief and real change on the inside.