– Michael, Pavillon Alumni
“‘Divorce’ the story, ‘marry’ the Truth.” ~Anonymous
“I need to be on my own team.” ~W. J.
I had a really weird thing happen to me this week. I went to a Meeting that I don’t normally attend (unusual); shared at said Meeting (usual). The next day, I’m at the gym and a person comes up to me and asks, “What were you doing yesterday?” (VERY unusual). I gave this person a decidedly blank stare–mostly because for a second, I couldn’t actually remember what I’d done the day before! Then he very discreetly asked me if I’d been at the location of the Meeting that I had attended, which quickly snapped my memory back into working order, though I still didn’t recognize the individual standing before me.
We continued talking for a few minutes. As the gym was nearly empty, we told each other bits and pieces of our Recovery stories. Now comes the odd part: the person I’m speaking with asks me a very common question in this context, “What was your drug of choice? Pills?” I replied, “No, Crystal Meth.” Pause…
Then the individual I had been chatting so amiably with seemed to suddenly wave me off, quickly turned, and said over his shoulder as he walked away, “Good luck with THAT.” Conversation over.
In the moments following this bizarre, abrupt, and slightly uncomfortable interaction, I became profoundly grateful for the habit I have picked up of noting and recording the sorts of quotes that appear at the top of this page. These two came immediately to mind and helped me avoid a world of unnecessary turmoil. Most importantly, I need to let go of all my interpretations of what the external world throws in my path–that’s not my call or my job. And the best way for me to achieve this tough goal is for me to “be on my own team.”
Please remember that people do get and stay sober from EVERY type of drug use. Our “drugs of choice” no longer define us. We need not ever deal directly with the physical allergy again, so long as we keep our own houses in order.